Butterfly in reverse

This was supposed to be the future.

2009-11-09T11:36:48Z

I went to a talk tonight about the role of education on the road to reconciliation. (Reconciliation between white Australians and Indigenous Australians, for those playing along at home). They had positive ideas and thoughts and proposals, and nothing but failures to show for them along the way, because Australia isn't doing anything for its indigenous people beyond cheap apologies and racist interventions.

Then I had a little freak out in a cafe and started shouting about the fact that nothing I care about in life, none of the causes, are actually getting fucking *anywhere*, and that democracy is dying swiftly and so is any version of the dream of freedom and prosperity and choice and individuality and knowledge and progress, and that the likelihood is that China will be calling the shots for a good period of my lifetime, and human rights get nowhere and corporations get away with everything and climate change is going ahead and we're doing fucking *nothing* and there are going to be riots in the streets over food in a couple of years and NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING.

And goblinpaladin talked me down, but really? Really, I go to work every day and try and fix small bits of the environment so people can use them again, and all of this is in the back of my mind, that we are heading for a cataclysm and no one is doing anything, and most people don't even talk about it. Certainly no one is talking to me about it.

What the hell happened?

georgiaclaire @ 2009-11-06T08:21:00

2009-11-05T21:19:09Z

From my Holly Lisle writing list:

'Some people want to save the world through writing. This one is not only crazy, but also makes me shudder.'

Heh. Heh.

My bad.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-10-31T18:14:00

2009-10-31T07:17:59Z

You know, I've been working on the moving out thing, on and off, for months. And I'm still surprised by just how much stuff I have (really, not that much, but it takes a lot of organising), and by how much effort goes into packing up small areas.

Still. All my books are now in boxes, I have obtained large calico bags I intend to use to store my linen and clothes, and I'm close to making last trips to the Salvos to drop off stuff I don't need. I need to sort out my desk and a few remaining drawers, but bulk things are under control.

Now it's just putting things into actual boxes. And hanging on until I put things I use most often into bags. That needs to wait a while longer, or be orchestrated very carefully, since I still have three weeks to go.

Not looking forward to sorting out my desk and papers. But... maybe I can just stash the whole lot into one of the storage boxes I got earlier.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-10-27T21:11:00

2009-10-27T10:37:31Z

Last year I held the coolest job it has ever been my experience to have. It was a job far cooler, in fact, than the jobs of anyone else I knew. It had perks to the eyebrows, easy hours, very casual relations, and good pay. It was a fabulous job.

I got it by lying.

Specifically: I lied by saying that I, georgiaclaire, followed and knew things about popular culture. I wait now while you all laugh.

I don't follow popular culture. You should know this. By definition, if it's popular, it's probably appealing to some lowest common denominator, and I happen to think I'm better than that, even if the rest of you aren't*. Accordingly, you couldn't pay me to go to Big Day Out, I find talk radio boring, I don't watch reality tv other than to judge people, and as to popular music: DJ Tiesto? Is that a new kind of rum? Is Kings of Leon a video game? If asked who Empire of the Sun were, I'd take a guess at the Sumerians or ancient Egyptians. What do you mean, it's not a history question?

Eventually, you know, I did get found out. Mostly because, rather foolishly, while at a gig, I made a comment along the lines of "I would enjoy this song cover more if I knew the original". Apparently it was a famous song. I couldn't tell you, I don't remember the band, title, or any lyrics. In any case, they worked it out.

Thing was, other than that, no one ever would have gotten me. I lied, yes, I lied boldly, blatantly and exorbitantly about my knowledge about popular culture. I also somehow got away with it, armed only with a number of friends in
Circusoc, an unhealthy obsession with Threadless, and an ironclad grip on the rules of grammar, spelling, and the 'i before e, except after c,' rule. I had a successful year as a journalist, a creative and resourceful writer. I have discussed the possibility with others, and been reassured, that for that one year, the quality of my publication actually rose instead of loitering uneasily in the muck. I got away with it. And I made it better.

I don't advocate lying, in general and at large. However... I do think there are occasions when you can wriggle your way around apparent obstacles in your path. When what sounds like a sticking point is really just a negotiation. When, hell, if you're willing to do whatever the hell it takes to get something right, the details don't matter.

I guess I'm saying, don't give in. Don't ever give in because something doesn't sound quite right. You're bigger than that.

*snobbery intended with humour.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-10-25T19:02:00

2009-10-25T08:02:44Z

I'm moving out.

Thank you.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-10-23T22:16:00

2009-10-23T11:17:17Z

Among other things, I think I'd enjoy writing answers. so.

The problem with LJ: We all think we are so close, but really we know nothing about one another. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

ideas, people!

2009-10-16T23:30:05Z

I need a new newspaper!

In recent years I have been an avid follower of the Sydney Morning Herald. I read it, I supported it, I followed it online, I believed in it.

And, in recent times, it's become less and less of a balanced commentary, and more of a trashy tabloid.

So. Other newspapers I could read/follow? Or else, news journals? I'm not hugely picky... I just want something that doesn't turn every. tiny. thing. into an extreme, sensational headline.

Ideas?

Also, I need recommendations for recent literature. Long story short, I won a book voucher in a writing competition, and now I need some ideas to spend it on. Given the book shop in question, they'll probably need to be fairly recent or else large titles. Anyone?

georgiaclaire @ 2009-10-10T04:54:00

2009-10-09T17:53:56Z

This new thing of mine, with the waking up at three and not getting back to sleep? Yeah, not a fan.

Dislike.

Also, Ellen Page stole my face. And it weirds me out.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-10-05T20:28:00

2009-10-05T09:30:56Z

Also, while I'm still cranky about the finale of BSG, the first episode of the new season of Dollhouse PWNED ME.

Epically!

I love the emotional conflict thing they have going on for me. I love you, Adelle DeWit, but you're amoral and mean! Topher, you are a shitty bastard but you're brilliant and lonely and you make me laugh. Paul Ballard... I could care less about... but Sierra and Victor and their adoring eyes make even me go wibbly.

And um, that eyefuck between Echo and Whiskey? My knees wobbled, and I was sitting down!

brownie recipe, for your enjoyment.

2009-10-05T09:17:12Z

So I found an awesome vegan brownie recipe lately, but it was like wow, calorie-riffic. I've been experimenting a little and think I've found a way to do this with about half the sugar and less oil and still have a fluffy chocolatey brownie. And SO easy.

- 250g self raising flour.
- 150g raw sugar
- 65 cocoa
- 300 mLs water
- 150mL vegetable oil
- 5-10mL vanilla
- crushed nuts to taste.

Take above. Mix. Pour into brownie tin. Cook at 200 degrees celsius for 30 minutes. Tip onto cooling rack, slice and eat. Makes 15 or so brownies.

- I also imagine you could make it either gooier by cooking less or more chocolatey by adding chocolate chips. This recipe however is working for me. :D

the slow disintegration of my hooooome.

2009-10-04T10:58:48Z

*sigh*

So in recent weeks, we've had the Death of the Iron, the Leaking Tap, the Broken Microwave, and this morning's triumphant conclusion; The Flooded Kitchen, courtesy of the 'Fixed' Leaking Tap.

It would suffice to say that THIS IS MAKING MY LIFE NO FUN.

And you know, most of it, I don't mind. I don't iron, so I don't care. I managed to clean up the initial flood today and put a bucket under the flooding tap until my brother bothered to get up and turn it off. And there are other taps!

But I WANT MY FRAKKING MICROWAVE BACK.

Why? Well without my microwave, I can't heat my heatpacks, and my shoulders hurt. I can't reheat food easily, or without drying it out. I can't heat my awesome taro dessert from the crazy chinese store near me. I can't make custard (okay I can make custard but dude, standing by the stove stirring? Not nearly as awesome as the microwave nuke). I can't reheat my tea when I forget to drink it in time.

In short, being microwaveless is kind of ruining my life.

Boo. Sucks.

Roman Polanski and artist privileges.

2009-10-01T10:36:53Z

You know, when I was twelve, I went to see Brett Whiteley's studio with school. I didn't know much about the artist, but I do know that when we got there, I was a little shocked by it. On the wall of his actual studio, where he painted, were two items I particularly remember. One was a bare breasted woman with boobs bigger than my head. The other was a newspaper article about how a woman had been attacked and eaten by a shark while her daughter watched.

When I came home I talked to my parents about it (the latter, not the former... I was twelve and embarrassed). I don't remember coming away feeling better, but my mother told me at the time that artists do things that are more far out for inspiration, that in a sense they were 'allowed' more freedoms.

I can get behind pinning things on your walls, and I can certainly understand that the two above examples might have been different enough to be inspirational to Whiteley. What I don't get behind is granting 'artistic' people exceptional licenses to do things we wouldn't permit people to do otherwise.

Some of you can see where this is going.

I am, frankly, disgusted by the number of people supporting Polanski and signing a petition for his release. I am disgusted that he is entitled to special treatment. I am disgusted that were he any other individual who were not famous, we would be howling for his blood. Instead, people like Woody Allen and Harrison Ford are calling for his blood. In fact, I could even forgive that, but the number of people on the list at ohnotheydidnt who I used to respect...

Natalie Portman. Salman Rushdie. Milan Kundera. Tilda Swinton. Seriously?

I would have expected better from any one of you. Particularly Portman; sweetheart, you've called yourself a role model figure before, so I know you know people listen to you, particularly young women. And now it's okay for a rapist to walk free?

Wounded, here.

If anyone wants to see the number of people saying it's okay to molest kids, it's <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/39618660.html>here</a>. Anyone defending Polanski can just DIAF.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-28T21:51:00

2009-09-28T11:52:23Z

Today's work related thoughts:

- It would be really easy/interesting to write a crime novel with an environmental scientist as the protagonist. We go everywhere. We look at everything. It wouldn't be that hard or unreasonable to stumble over something more seriously illegal than waste water dumping.

- I never needed to see that many dead farm animals. I was investigating a chicken farm (eggs and meat, barn and free range), and um, unsanitary.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-26T20:59:00

2009-09-26T11:02:11Z

Man, I saw Up tonight and I honest to God just cannot say enough good things about that movie.

Yes, it's a kids movie. But it's the best among kids movies. It's smart, and funny, and has a lot of adult jokes, and a lot of things that just had me rolling in my chair and howling with laughter. I loved it. It really is clever humour, and while I guess the ending is a tad predictable - yes, there IS a happy ending - it's still a wonderful, wonderful sweet path it takes to get there. With many unexpected glitches along the way.

Also talking dogs and the cone of shame. IT WAS WONDERFUL.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-23T08:39:00

2009-09-22T22:40:03Z

Also, getting in before anyone else does: Yes, this kind of thing probably will happen more often in the future post-climate change.

Yes, I will enviro-blog about why. With pictures.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-23T07:22:00

2009-09-22T21:23:57Z

Also, as a result of my working in the field with little internet coverage and no lj access, I am trialing twitter. I am still highly dubious about it. But it gives me a way to stay on lj, I guess.

You can find me here, I am geoclaire.

dust storm

2009-09-22T21:03:35Z

Dude, DUST STORM.

I have never seen anything like this. It's seven am, and I can't see the sun or the sky and it's dark outside, because there is dust over the world.

The sky is an uneasy shade of umber. When I woke up, confused and sleep deprived, it was red. I drove into work - I couldn't see more than two hundred metres ahead. It's like yellow-red fog, so impenetrable.

(I got sent home from work. We're meant to be doing field work all day. It's been cancelled, thank gods.)

It is, we're told, the result of sustained winds yesterday over dry and exposed areas of the interior. There's a gale winds warning all over NSW today - and all I can tell you is my windows were open last night and now there's dust over my keyboard and desk. That, and from five minutes outside, my throat is tickling and dry.

I took photos, will upload later, but meanwhile... this is insane. But we are okay. It is freaking me out, but we are okay.

(also: GLOBAL WARMING. There's never been a dust storm in Sydney like this before.)

Clearly the only solution is to obtain a Kara Thrace icon.

2009-09-21T07:18:55Z

So I finally got to watch the Battlestar Galactica finale last night.

And I am OUTRAGED. I am full of hurt! I cried today at work! You know, just a little bit, and just in the car, but I am SAD and hurty and HOW WAS ANY OF THAT FAIR?

Also: Angels? Seriously? ANGELS?!

I came into this almost unspoiled - I knew Laura Roslin was going to die, and I was sort of at peace with that, because you knew it had to happen - although it hurt to see how frail she had become - but, but, but they killed all my girls!

Okay. Order.

- Kara's disappearance. I am SO CONFLICTED about this. On the one hand, yes, she couldn't possibly be alive because we SAW her body. But just disappearing? I imagine we're supposed to presume she's one of Baltar's angels, but that's just lame.

Also, almost more than her death, I am disappointed by her lack of resolution. WHY did she come back from the dead? Okay, to get us to Earth - but how? She had to have been resurrected by someone; how and why? And I'm never going to have my personal theory confirmed or denied that Kara was the seventh model Daniel's daughter - I truly thought that would be the big reveal, that Kara is and always has been half cylon. It would have explained so much. And it was totally left hanging - I guess in tv talk, that means I was wrong, but there isn't any other explanation, let alone a better one, for her resurrection and her 'seeing' her father, and Leoben.

(Also, I just realised I would have liked to have seen more of Leoben in the final ep.)

- Apollo. We just LEFT HIM THERE? He's never going to see his father again? We don't even know if he was with other people!

- Apollo and Kara. Okay, there wasn't a good way for this to be resolved, not really, but what a fucking 'ship tease! (And also it makes me sad because really... something good had to come out of this. And instead all my girls are gone and my boys are sitting sadly on separate sides of the planet.)

- Galen. Ouch. Like, really, there are no other words: ouch.

I feel so fucking bad for him. He thought he was human and everything was fine. Then he was in love with a woman he suspected was a cylon, then she went bad and he was blamed, then he WAS a cylon, his wife was murdered and his first love screwed him, and through all of this he hates cylons and himself for being one and it's just not fair.

I hope to God someone told him Boomer came good in the end.

- Boomer.

Oh, Boomer. I have so much sympathy for you even when I'm sure I'm not meant to any more. I mean... yes, you shot the old man. You did. But it wasn't your fault! And you were shit on New Caprica, but so was fucking Caprica Six and she walks away happy and sunshiny at the end! Yes, you abducted the kid, and it was wrong, but you brought her back *beca8se* it was wrong and I... I just think you got hard done by and it isn't fair.

And I am resentful of Athena for never understanding that. I guess she had to separate herself from the other Eights in her mind, and she did it by hating Boomer among others, but really? Not fair.

- Racetrack and Skulls. Weep! I had a vague feeling Hotdog would die and am still unsure how I felt that he didn't.

- Helo getting shot. HELLO, I NEEDED TO KNOW A LOT SOONER THAT HE WAS OKAY.

And he and Athena being cute together is nice but doesn't make up for the Adamas, Thrace, and Roslin constituting pure tragedy.

Because really... BSG was wonderful, and I kept wanting to believe it was about hope, or had some underlying message of hope, and now? I am unconvinced. Because yeah, they survive, and there's hope for the future, and maybe it won't happen again, but my girls are dead and my boys are sad and lonely! And why, WHY did they fight so long and so hard and still end up alone? HOW IS THAT FAIR?

Again: Adama, Adama, Thrace and Roslin = pure elizabethan tragedy.

No fucking fair.

- Baltar. Finally became less objectionable. This is all I can say.

- Roslin/Adama. The bit with the ring killed me. I sobbed. A lot.

Also, it hurts me that Bill rushed his final goodbye with his son and Kara only to have Laura die before he could... whatever it was he was going to do. Propose, tell her he loved her, any of these things. I know she knew, but it isn't the same. It hurts.

However, I have to say that every time Laura Roslin and Kara Thrace shared screen time, it made my heart swell up a bit. Yes, Bill Adama calls Kara his daughter, but also? In the end, she was Laura's, too. When Laura comes through the hangar to volunteer for the mission, and Kara holds her arm to keep her up, I wanted to hug them both. I've loved them together from the first time Kara hugged her unexpectedly in the CIC, and then apologised "Sorry, Madam President". And saying goodbye from the window, and looking down at Lee and Kara standing there so proud, and their obvious adoration of her... LOVE.

...

And then Laura dies and Kara disappears and I HAVE EMOTIONAL ISSUES WITH THIS.

- Saul and Ellen Tigh. It was nice to finally see these two non dysfunctional. However... what the fuck happened to Saul's love for Caprica Six? They both seem to have ditched it and returned to their previous partners with no discussion, and it bugs me a little.

- And it was SO Battlestar Galactica that the alliance between cylons and humans gave way because of a problem between one man and woman, between Galen and Tory. He was absolutely justified, but if the entirety of humanity had been wiped out? Yeah. SO BSG.

Okay. I think that's all I've got.

Wow, that was intense.

Things that make sense.

2009-09-15T11:25:27Z

g: Today I smashed up a balcony.
M: Er... Why?
g: It's my job!
M: ... What is it you're doing these days?
g: I'm an environmental scientist!

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-13T14:47:00

2009-09-13T04:51:22Z

So I'm trying to fade a pair of pants. I know, not what you'd expect, mostly you want to STOP clothes fading. But I stupidly bought a couple pairs of black work pants, and they're really not good in the heat, so I'm trying to figure out how to fade them.

I thought the internet would be able to help me in this quest; sadly, whenever I google, all I find are ways to prevent clothes fading. So... does anyone have ideas? I imagine bleach is the obvious answer but I want to be a bit careful with that - my pants are heavy and strong to protect me from like, heavy metals and acids in my work place, so I don't want to accidentally burn holes in them or significantly weaken them.

At the moment I'm hanging the pants in the sun all day/every day, but I know that will take forever. I'm considering using either baking soda and water, or that stuff you use to remove dye runs - but using the one for whites instead of colour safe, it's stripped dye before, so maybe it will work on my pants.

Other ideas?

(Also, I updated my other blog, if you're interested. Suggestions for post topics will be contemplated).

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-13T12:42:00

2009-09-13T02:46:22Z

So, new work means new work drinks. And all new work misunderstandings. And hilarity.

*georgia, tired, lolls back on couch*
Kelly: Georgia, I think we need to call you a cab!
georgia: I haven't been drinking!
Kelly: Then WHY are you so floppy?
Anthony: She's wearing make-up, she's actually Gumby.

I laughed so hard I may actually have choked a little.

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-08T21:32:00

2009-09-08T11:36:22Z

Dude, I just watched Epitaph One - the extra episode of the Dollhouse - and dude, Whiskey's fate is the saddest thing in the history of the world. Especially her choosing to stay there alone, knowing... SO SAD.

*makes sad face to demonstrate*

Also... I know I'm going to regret this, but has anyone written anything about fanfiction as resistance, in like a post colonial or post structuralism framework? Like, professional papers? Because I'm sure there's a thesis to be had there, particularly fanfiction as post colonial resistance (and might serve to justify some genuinely terrible Mary Sue fanfic out there).

Book Challenge 09.

2009-09-06T10:35:55Z

Book list, as before. Starred books are those I would recommend.

1. White Oleander. Janet Fitch. *
2. Oxygen. Andrew Miller.
3. The Optimists. Andrew Miller.
4. The Stolen Child. Keith Donoghue.
5. Chronicle of a Death Foretold. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. *
6. The Tivington Nott. Alex Miller.
7. The Calcutta Chromosome. Amitav Ghosh.
8. Revelation. Carol Berg.
9. Restoration. Carol Berg.
10. Incandescence. Greg Egan.
11. The Ground Beneath Her Feet. Salman Rushdie.
12. The Behaviour of Moths. Poppy Adams.
13. Runaway. Alice Munro.
14. The Stone Gods. Jeanette Winterson. *
15. Search for the Diceman. Luke Rhinehart.
16. The Messenger. Markus Zusak. *
17. Never Let Me Go. Kazuo Ishiguoro. *
18. House of Day, House of Night. Olga Tokarczuk. *
19. The World According to Garp. John Irving.
20. The English Patient. Michael Ondaatje.
21. Frankenstein. Mary Shelley.
22. The Monk. Matthew Lewis.
23. Interview with the Vampire. Anne Rice. *
24. The Cider House Rules. John Irving.
25. The Italian. Ann Radcliffe.
26. Dracula. Bram Stoker.
27. The Turn of the Screw. Henry James.
28. A Widow for One Year. John Irving.
29. The Vampire Lestat. Anne Rice.
30. Queen of the Damned. Anne Rice.
31. The Clan Industrial Revolution. Ben McNeil. *
32. The Other. Victor Kelleher.
33. People of the Book. Geraldine Brooks. *
34. The Shadow Isle. Katharine Kerr.
35. The Spirit Stone. Katharine Kerr.
36. Kushiel's Mercy. Jacqueline Carey.
37. The Dice Man. Luke Rhinehart.
38. Carpentaria. Alexis Wright.
39. The White Tiger. Aravind Adiga. *
40. The Thought Gang. Tibor Fischer.
41. The Autumn of the Patriarch. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. *
42. The Cement Garden. Ian McEwan.
43. My Place. Sally Morgan.
44. Hood. Emma Donoghue. *
45. The Ancestor Game. Andrew Miller. *
46. Cosmo Cosmolino. Helen Garner.
47. Shakespeare's Wife. Germaine Greer.
48. Disgrace. J M Coetze.
49. The Tax Inspector. Peter Carey.

Huh. I didn't realise I was practically there. This means the next book I complete will make up the fifty books I wanted to read this year, and I can cross that off as done.

Cool.

And I'm now reading "City of Djinns", if anyone is interested. (I am amused that rather than walk five steps to my bed, I googled to find the author. William Dalrymple, if anyone cares.)

georgiaclaire @ 2009-09-04T16:47:00

2009-09-04T06:48:31Z

Dude.

Seeing Aimee Mann in concert tonight. For my birthday.

*dies and is dead*

OH MY FUCKING GOD AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!1!11!1ELEVNTYONE!!!

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

georgiaclaire @ 2009-08-16T21:43:00

2009-08-16T11:51:31Z

Oh, I really should have followed up on the job thing before I *started* the job. That is what I think.

My new job is as an environmental scientist (yay!!!) with a land remediation group. Basically, we go out to sites, drill some holes, have a look around, take samples, and tell you how badly a site is contaminated, and whether you can use it again. If you can't use it again, or can't change the land use - for example, if it's contaminated with asbestos or has highly acidic ground water, or it's a drained acid sulphate soil - we can remediate that land for you, i.e. treat it in such a way to make it re-usable.

This is very cool, and I very much like the job and the people, except that I am often required to be *on site* at seven am, and some of the sites we've been visiting have been about an hour's drive from my house. My sleep is not really happening. I am tired like whoa, and it's been a week.

OTOH, I'm pretty sure it's just adapting to it, the fact that my day now runs to different hours... and just starting a new big thing is tiring. I think it will get better - and hopefully I can start sleeping through the night, 'cause lately I keep waking up at three and I'm not a fan.

Otherwise, very cool. And it's just NICE to be able to finally apply everything I did through uni. That, and the group is very supportive - they're quite open about the fact that they want me to do a masters at some stage (and will pay for such), my pay is great for a graduate, the office is very close to my house (except that, you know, I'm not usually actually going in there), and I won't always be out in the field. Not sure how I feel about that actually - at the moment the field work is a bit overwhelming, but equally, who wants to spend forty hours a week staring at a computer screen? Not I.

Btw, that last entry? I made custard and took it to bed. :p